Goodbye Aiden [Mac]

weak? okay that hurt.
"What do you expect me to do, Stella? I'm just doing my job!"

"I don't know how you do that, but she was a friend and how am I supposed to be happy when a friend of mine died? Especially if I... we are still trying to get that bastard who did this to her?" I say as a matter of factly and turn around, walking over to the table again.

"Fine choke in it and stay your stubborn self and try to figure it out on your own!" I say frustrated and walk back to my office

"Damn it!" I curse once she left, getting out of my lab coat and into the elevator, heading for the roof. With it being almost dark I knew only a few people would still be at the lab. I walked to the edge of the roof, which was surrounded by a wall, high enough to rest my elbows on and stare into the almost dark city, only my dress shirt on.

I quickly walked toward my office. I slammed the door shut behind me when I entered my office and sat down on my chair. "damn man.." I curse and stare into the dark.

I start thinking about the scene in the lab and wonder if I really was that bad, but I knew I was just doing my job. On the other hand I couldn't figure out how I was supposed to smile and be happy with an unsolved murder case where a friend was the victim. I sighed and rubbed my face.

Am I with the rest of the team the only ones who know that Aiden would have wanted us to move on and at least try to be happy. Of course we miss her and of course we all wish she would still be here, but for christ sake why isn't Mac getting that? working thu the night and doing more than triple shifts isn't good for the case either.

On the roof I turned around and leaned against the wall, sliding down to the ground and wrap my arms loosely around my knees, lost in thoughts.

I roll with my chair to the drawer next to the couch and put a couple files in it which were laying on my desk just a minute ago. I sigh and get up from the chair and give it a too hard push and the chair slammed into my desk. Pencils and a few papers fly through my office, I just sigh again and lay down on the couch I was standing next to.

I stayed on the roof lost in thoughts and way too frustrated to go back down.

I stare to the ceiling and shiver. I grab a blanket from under the couch and wrap it around myself. "I'll never understand him, never" I whisper to myself

I sighed as a small shiver ran down my spine and then shake my head.
Will she ever understand? I asked myself, actually wondering why all of a sudden she made such a big deal about it.

I pulled the blanket over my head and curled myself up like a little ball, I've done this every single night in foster care, it was my way to forget what happened that day.

After a while I get up from the ground and head for the small bar near the lab, sitting down in the back and having a beer.

I fall asleep on the couch like many nights lately. Who cares as long as I'm able to work my shifts.

After I finished my beer I paid and headed home, slumping down on my couch, planning to call Sinclair and take a few days off.

I wake up at 3am and wonder what the heck I'm still doing in my office, but then I remember what has happened before I went to sleep on the couch. I stare to my phone and want to call him, but I know he's probably sleeping.

At the same time in my apartment, I am still up, but trying to get some sleep, which of course didn't work. Knowing that Stella's probably at home sleeping peacefully, I dropped the thought of calling her.

I just shake my head 'neehh He's probably sleeping' I get up from the couch and get my coat, time to go home I guess

After not getting much sleep I get up and take a shower, before I call Sinclair and the take the next two days off, though he's surprised I'm doing it, he finally agrees to it.

after going home and get some sleep I go back to the lab to see what Adam and Lindsay found. first I go to Mac's office as always but it's empty. I see Sinclair in the hallway and tells me he has a couple days off. I'm about to explode and quickly rush to the lab.. has he gone crazy.... like this will help us.. arghhhh the damn man!!!

But of course, though I'm home I'm not just lazy or something. I'm still thinking about this whole case. I had a damn good idea who killed Aiden, but it was hard to prove it. Actually I felt bad for just ducking out the easy way, but if Stella thought I wasn't motivating the team they probably were better off without me.

Walks to the lab with a terrible mood. "he better stays away, If I see him I'll shoot him with my own gun arghhh"

Actually having the day off, I got into a pair of jeans and a dark blue dress shirt and attach my badge to my jeans, but kept the gun hidden in the waist band and go for a 'special' walk, wanting to keep an eye on the guy who raped several women and who killed our friend. I just knew it.