The misunderstanding

It’s getting cold in here, my body start shacking, before I knew what was going to happen the tears start to roll down my face. Not just a few tears no, a waterfall is running over my face. Nothing could stop it. I walked around my room a couple of times and told myself to stop, but it wouldn’t work. I looked at the screen with the words written on it. Those words were barley readable now the tears filled my eyes even more, my make up was fully under my eyes. What’s wrong with me I though several times, I couldn’t place it, was it sadness or anger or both? My condition started to get worse my body turn out to be completely weak, slow I couldn’t control my own body any longer, it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Was it all because of what the words were telling me? Iwent offline, I didn’t want to hear anything further.

What she didn’t knew was that Mac wrote to the wrong person. She walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of wine. She still couldn’t believe Mac actually said that to her. The day went really great between us, we had lunch and dinner together. We solved the case really quick, we went home, which he brought me to. Maybe he talked to someone who ruined his mood after he went to home, but that doesn’t mean he have to treat me like this. I need some fresh air, I wiped away my tears removed my make up just put some mascara back up and left my apartment. Hmm shall I take the car or shall I walk? Walk!

God damn it what did I do, I really did hurt her a lot! How could I be so stupid to not check which screen I opened before I send it. now she isn’t picking up her phone, and she isn’t online anymore. I better go visit her. I shut off my PC, grab my keys, run to my car and drove in the dark to Stella’s apartment I still couldn’t believe what I just did, to her, Stella! I should have blocked Peyton but no I’m too stubborn to do that.

Does Mac really hate me? do I really work on his nervous? Am I really that stupid to see that after all those years? Should I really shut up and just do my work? Slowly I crossed the street and just walked into central park, which was stupid, I’m the one who should know to never go in there after all those death bodies we had to deal with in the park, at night. funny to say we, ‘we’ don’t exist anymore, never thought I could be so sad to lose someone, I’ve never been close to much people actually Mac was the first that I really let into my heart.

Oh Stella where are you? Why don’t you open your door? Please open it and tell me I screwed up! Call me an ass, a bastard or whatever I don’t mind as long as I know you are okay. I’ve never used my spare key but you know, someday has to be the first and this is emergency, isn’t it? Slowly I put the key in the door lock, turn the key around 2 times and I’m in. ‘Stella?’ I yell through her apartment but no response I walk further to the living room. Not there! Just a glass of wine. Oh man really hope she’s okay, I walk further through the hallway to the kitchen. No Stella, again… I walk into her bedroom, again, no Stella, if she finds out I’ve been in her bedroom she’ll kill me, better don’t tell her then, it would make it worse than it already is. Bathroom? No Stella, extra room? No Stella. Where is she? He walks to the living room again. Now he noticed that her phone, purse are still in the room. She would never leave without at least her phone. Where could she be?

Walking, walking and still walking… I’m bored… actually I should go back home and sleep a little, hmmm not possible after what Mac said. Seriously why does he have to say that he hate he through msn? I knew it was wrong to actually install that stupid program it always mess up friendships and all… Gosh PC’s suck big time… I want to call Flack! He’s always there for me, but on this time? Would he be there for me at 1am? Well I would never figure that out since I forgot my cell.. it’s all Mac’s fault. I would never, NEVER leave without my phone. It’s probably the most important thing I have. I want to scream for you so badly, apparently you have no idea how much I need you and how much you’ve hurt me! I LOVE YOU!!!!

My heart keeps screaming for you, I can’t go home while knowing you might be in trouble. I search for ever to bring you home, Anytime, anywhere I’ll find you, I promise, I’ll come for you! I see your glass standing on the table, knowing you were here some hours ago, and I wasn’t there to stop you from leaving, knowing I might made the worse mistake I ever made. If I just accepted your invite to drink some coffee at your place, we probably didn’t talk over MSN. why did I even took MSN, stupid Danny with his ‘fantastic’ ideas..

Hard to say how and why but I was sitting on my knees, crying, like it was normal to do, in middle in the night in central park?! I’m supposed to be in my bed waiting for my alarm start ringing at 6am, hurry to be on time at work. Work.. with Mac Taylor, who had told me I was useless, annoying and so much more,I don’t even remember. Suddenly I feel a large tongue licking my face, that is disgusting! Although it helped me coming back to reality. Not much later I feel a hand on my shoulder. ‘are you okay? Did my dog attack you?’ a woman voice asked me. ‘euhh.. no I’m fine’ I reply and try to stand up, lucky me I didn’t fell back on the ground again. I wiped away the spittle of the dog away with my jacket.

I’m not leaving Stella’s apartment till she is back, if she’s not back in 1 hour I call the police! Although they probably tell me she isn’t missing longer than 24 hours so they can’t do anything yet. So I better call Flack then he will make sure the police starts to search. I’m still sitting on the couch watching Stella’s glass, I pick it up and hold it into the light. There are her lip impression on the glass. Wishing this impression would stand on mine lips one day, hoping she will tell me I love you, only if it’s just once I’ll be so happy, she probably has no idea how much I love her.

I walk out of the park straight to my apartment, hmmm did I forgot to shut off the lights? Probably.. I walk into the building. Open the door, step into my home, see a man running up to me.. MAC??! Is he out of his mind or what?

‘Stella where have you been, I was so worried about you!’ He pulled me into a hug. I pull away the hug and tell him; ‘get your hands off me, give me the spare key back and leave, I don’t want you in my apartment or anywhere near me!’ I open the door which I closed behind me after I came in, ‘GET OUT!’ I yell at him, how on earth can he tell me he was ‘worried’ about me. ‘Stella please listen to me! the text wasn’t meant for you’ he said while closing the door again. ‘I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY TOME YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY OUT!’ I yell at him, I wanted to open the door again but Mac grabbed my wrists. ‘STELLA!, Stop it!’ he starts hugging me again. ‘you really don’t get it, do you?’ she tries to get out of his grip, she grabs Mac’s hands on her back and put her nails in his hands while hoping he would let her go. He let her lower back go but refused to give up and placed his arms again around her. ‘please Stella don’t do this’ he was practical begging her. ‘Mac take your hands off me RIGHT NOW!’ she tried to push him away, but obvious he was too strong, she placed her hands in his neck and pushed her nails into his skin ‘get your hands of me!’ she said angry while looking into Mac’s eyes, she immediately quit with squeezing. She could see she really was hurting him physical and mental. While she let go and went quiet he pushed away the hug and walked to the door, turned around looked at Stella who was really shocked by her own behavior. Walked back to Stella, gave her the spare key and left.

Stella who still stood in her the hallway with the spare key in her hand. Blinked 5 times before she realized what she just did, this is not what she wanted, he wanted to make it up to her and she just refused to listen to him, she scratched a friend, not just in his neck and on his hands but also in his soul. Although he did the same by her earlier.

Mac who stood in the elevator just looking in the mirror he could see how sad he was although he could feel that inside as well. I stepped out of the elevator, walking up to my car, still I managed to look at the Stella’s apartment. I shook my head and climbed on the driver seat. he looked at his hands, they were bleeding, all those scratches were so deep, she was really angry, I really hurt her bad! When I finally got home, I went straight to the bathroom to see the damage, 5 scratches on the left side of his neck, 6 at the right side, none of them were bleeding. 7 scratches on his right hand, 3 of them were bleeding, 5 scratches on his left hand 4 of them were bleeding. I got some scars of Stella at least something I got from her.

Stella fell asleep in her bed at 4am after crying, and yelling at herself. Her alarm started ringing at 6am, like every morning. She stood up, eat an apple, got dressed, brushed her teeth’s, grabbed her purse and phone and left the building.

When she came out of the elevator Flack walked up to her ‘do you know where Mac is?’ Stella gave Flack an angry glare. ‘no’ she replied and walked further. Flack came after her, ‘well then you come with me, we have a dead body.’ Stella rolled her eyes and went after flack. When they sat in the car Flack didn’t drove to the scene ‘Stella you always know where Mac is so where is he?’ again Stella gave him an angry glare. ‘I don’t know! I just told you, just drive to the scene’ ‘wow didn’t knew you would get mad, I’m on my way’ Flack replied and drove to the scene.

Meanwhile Mac was still laid in his bed, he didn’t care about work at the moment, he heard his phone go off, he looked at the screen; D. Flack

‘Flack?’

‘Don, I don’t care what’s going on at work, like you probably noticed I’M NOT AT WORK’

‘get the guy and enjoy your day bye Flack’

Mac hang up the phone, got out of bed, walked to the kitchen grabbed an apple to eat and went to the bathroom, he looked at his neck again, 9 of the scratches looked good, they would probably don’t end as scars, the other 2 might end as scars, not that he cared about the moment but still. When he saw his hands he shook his head. 5 of them would definitely end as scars, about the rest he wasn’t sure yet. He got dressed and went to the pharmacy. He went home with cream to put on his scratches, the woman asked him if his cat attacked him, he said ‘yes, my cat is really aggressive’ to avoid other questions. He slowly put up the cream, cause it was still hurting him although his heart was hurt way more, and it was all his fault.

‘I see you guys don’t need me here, Lindsay, Danny you guys can manage this, I’ll go with Hawkes to Sid with the dead body’ She and Hawkes went to the morgue and waited for Sid to start with autopsy. When Sid finally arrived Stella’s face looked like she was going to explode in a minute. ‘Sid… that took a while! You better start now!’ Hawkes went to the body with Sid. Stella was still sitting on the bench, waiting.

‘Stell, we found the COD, gun shoot, the bullet is still inside the vic, you can run it through the database to see if we get a hit’ Sid explained. Stella looked at the vic, he had a gun shot in his chest, and a lot of scratches on his arms, neck and face. ‘euh Sheldon, can you run it through the database for me?, I have something I have to take care off before it’s too late’ She asked him but don’t wait for a reply and leaves the autopsy room, straight to the parking lane.

Mac who was dressed in a sweatpants and a sleep shirt sat down on the couch watching a movie, although the movie did make him sad, he watched it about a month ago with Stella, she forced him to come over and watch a movie. Suddenly he heard the doorbell, he slowly stood up and walked to the door, he opened it and he was really surprised to see Stella standing in the hallway.

‘Stella?’ he said with soft voice.

‘May I come in? I won’t hurt you again I promise’ she slowly asked.

‘ yeah, come in’ he stepped out of the way and let Stella in, she walked into the living room and looked at the TV. ‘the perfect man’ she whispered. ‘yeah’ Mac stood behind Stella and replied.

‘Stella, you had all the right to be mad at me but why didn’t you listen to me like you always do. I used to be your best friend, you told me everything, and I told you everything. I want you to know I wanted to write it to Peyton not to you, I would never write something like that to you.’

‘Mac, you’ve hurt me so bad after what you wrote to me, then I found you sitting in my apartment, for one minute, well actually a few minutes I thought you would act the same like Frankie, I was so scared, after you left I realized I did something really stupid.’ she slowly grabbed his wrist and looked at it ‘I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you like this really, I couldn’t control myself, but still I shouldn’t have done it.’ she pulled him into a hug, she laid her head on his left shoulder, with her right hand she slowly went over the skin of his right neck. It made her cry to feel the scratches in his neck. Mac stroked her hair, he could feel her tears falling in his neck ‘It’s okay Stell, hopefully they are gone in a few days’ he pushed her out of his neck and laid his forehead on hers. ‘are we okay again?’ he wondered. ‘yes we are’ she pushed with her nose against his, their lips almost touched. He laid his hand in her neck and slowly pressed his lips onto hers.

Oh my god.......that....is.....beautiful!Like,I wanna cry but I can't.....great story Stella...great story!!Beautiful story....